Upside-Down Christmas

How did you spend your holiday?

Don't be fooled by that scenic picture. The Blue Lake was FREEZING! When I finally caught my breathe, I was swearing uncontrollably. After the 5th dive, it wasn't too bad and became tolerable.

Really it didn't feel like Christmas at all. Way too warm. I tried my best to be festive. I baked cookies, I decorated a tree, I went shopping and the entire time I wanted to wear my scarf and mittens.

I flew to Central Otago, South Island to join my friend Mel and family for Christmas. I was delighted by the warmth, sun, and lack of wind. It really is summertime . . . .in other parts of the country. I love being on the farm with the Kane family. I have dubbed them 'family away from my family.' The food was sooo good and I ate like a teenage boy. I think I gained 5kg from all the chocolate, wine, and Bernie's homemade bread.

On Boxing Day (Dec 26th) we were four-wheeling in the countryside near Lake Onslow. Gorgeous! I felt like I should have been in LCD with Fromboluti to capture the colors. We drove through the hills, encouraged Bernie to drive through a wide stream of unknown depth by chanting "4-wheeling! 4-wheeling! 4-wheeling," and picnicked in the valley.

Everyone's Speights up in the air for the South Alps!

"We all live . . . "

. . in a Yellow Stadium, Yellow Stadium, Yellow Stadium." I love Phoenix chants. And I love attending games with Ben and Ang even more.













Ben cracks me up in how much he gets into the games. Ang and I just do some girl chat "oh what are you doing for New Years . . .yadda yadda yadda . . . sure I'll have a donut", while Ben is screaming "You're so shit it's unbelievable" and "You dirty Aussie Bastard" along with 7000 other men.

Ben's favorite is "D-I-S-C-O, DISCO!," a collective chant followed by dancing in the stands to keep warm, but with a variation for the southern hemisphere. "D-I-N-G-O, DINGO! A dingo ate your baby, dingo ate your baby!"


This time the Phoenix WON! And the crowd celebrated bareback swinging their towels over their heads. Glad I got to see them win one. My Phoenix experience is complete.

Red Rocks Coast

On my days off from wonderful Gordon's, I team up with my fellow American co-workers and head out to see the sights of New Zealand.

This week, Red Rocks Coastal Walk near Owhiro Bay outside of Wellington. Three hours of trekking along the rocky coast while swatting away the blood sucking sand flies from nibbling on my ankles.

Apparently, it is illegal to kill New Zealand sandflies within a National Park. They are indigenous species. Oops! Sorry about that . . .just my Darwinism instinct.


The best finds of the day; A clean, but abandon tub & McDonald's VIP pass. Wha??













Scariest sight of the day: A group of guys drinking beer with a semi-automatics in hand. Um . . . i started walking faster.

Gordon's Staff Room . . .no joke.

I was speechless.

Thanksgimme some Kiwi-urkey Day

Two days of food preparation and Thanksgiving, affectionately renamed "Kiwi-urkey Day", went very well.

It was a great night and I am soo happy I was able to share it with old and new friends. We went around in a circle to give thanks and being abroad made it even more sentimental.

Naturally, I was a little nervous being head chef, I've always been kitchen wing-man. Thank goodness Kiwi's eat turkey for Christmas and the grocery stores have begun stocking them. Plus I had to cook for a small kiwi and ex-pat army.

After one bite, it tasted like home. My kiwi friends lived the Thanksgiving dream; multiple helpings of dinner and dessert, people getting sleepy-eyed on the couch, and Sarany needing to change into larger pants. If only we had an American Football game on TV.

"Oh . . . Gordon's"

I say this multiple times throughout the day to help me move past the absurdity.

Gordon's is a drinking club except they pay me. At least that is how I like to think of it because I don't know anything about the stuff we sell. If you need a snowboard I delegate to Edwin, if you want skis - talk to Cam, and if I can't get the computer to work, I cry to Dan.

Shop rules are a half hour before we close is drinking time. Customers are still roaming the shop, except now I have a Heineken in my hand. I have worked there a little over a week and have gotten drunk with these people too many times. But when in New Zealand, do as the Kiwis do.

I never thought I would say this. . . . but I kinda miss using Excel . . . and writing.

IBTIUTB

"It's better than it used to be" - my most dreaded catch-all BS phrase of the workplace.

I am not sure how this happens . . . but I am beginning to think the universe attracts 'organizational challenged' workplaces to me. Today I began my first day of work at a retail shop and the state of the stock room made me break out in hives. I had to clamber over pallets and 'bob and weave' between HV/AC ducts. After my introduction to the stock room basement, I refused to reenter.

I couldn't suppress the MBA in me for long. "What season is this stock from?" "How do you order new inventory if you don't know what you already have?" "How do you know what is current and what to send to your outlet store?" "Isn't that going to mess up your accounts?" "Do you have to file quarterlies in this country?"

Frankly, it terrifies me.

But what is even more terrifying is only one other person seems as concerned as I am and it isn't the store owner, but the guy who has been working there for 6 months.

Frodo lives in my backyard

On the other side of the backyard fence is where Frodo lives. Ok . . maybe not, but that is where the entrance to Makara Peak Mountain Bike Park / Trails begin. About a 25 minute hike, you are at the 'summit' where you can see this beautiful view of Wellington. On a clear day you can also see the South Island from this point. What the Wellingtonians say is true. When the weather is clear, Wellington is absolutely stunning.

Only 6,742 miles to San Francisco from this point.

Kiwi transformation has begun

First the driver's license, now I just need to hide in Sarany's spare room for two years and apply for permanent residency.

NZ Decision 08 - "Its not the voting, its how you vote"

While the elections in NZ are not as high profile as the campaign in the US, the Kiwis do their best to make it interesting.

Hourly reports as to what is going on at the candidate's homes on election night. 10 delivery pizzas for "Choose a brighter future" John Key, homemade curry from a family friend for "Strong PROVEN leadership" Helen Clark, nicely groomed lawns, and current housing market prices of candidate homes.

Another classic - Politicians Got Talent - Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3. Complete with their local versions of Simon, Randy and Paula.

And my favorite Political Party - Bill and Ben from Pulp Sport. What's their priority? What’s the first thing they’ll do if elected? “A funnel,” says Bill. “We’re putting the party back in political party,” agrees Ben. They received .51% of the vote and they kept their promise.

Click on the image to read the list.

Girl: a term of endearment

"What does Girl want"
"Girl, you want coffee"
"Girl drink it "

My name is Girl at Sarany's parent's house. At first I thought her mother didn't know my name. No . . . she knows my name, but in Cambodian culture if you are speaking to someone younger than yourself; its Boy or Girl.

Sarany and Lloyd have been calling me Girl ever since. "Girl wanna come to the pub" "Girl did you eat" "What is Girl going to do today."

This is almost as good as when PopPop forgot my name and called me Timothy for a day. My sister has been calling me Tim ever since. PopPop later corrected us at Christmas "Your name isn't Timothy, it's Tiffany." Yeah . . .I know PopPop.

RIP PopPop.

Obama 08

It is nice to live in a different country without them hating your president (elect). A new experience.

While America was celebrating in the streets, we were watching the Guy Fawke's fireworks at Oriental Bay, Wellington. Kiwi's are just as excited as America about Obama.

It's not you, it's . . .

. . er . . .the economy? After 6 interviews with Aquent (two in person, four international phone interviews), I received the break up phone call.

Manager: "we really liked you and you seem to have great . . . . "
CNN: "OBAMA IS PRESIDENT"
Me: "Oh, I am sorry . . .What? I wasn't listening. The fate of my country was just decided."

Dont Fly into Wellington

Returning from my final interview in Auckland, our Quantas flight Captain made the announcement of 90kph winds in Wellington.

The first half of the flight was great. I had my crackers, cheese, a complementary glass of cabernet merlot sauvignon (yes all three, one glass) and a classic episode of Two and Half Men. Unlike flights in the states, they still give you free food even if the flight is only a hour.

Descending into Wellington, we became a model plane on strings hopping across the sky. Now my snacks were in my throat. I braced my seat and did some Lamaze breathing. Sarany met me at the airport and I needed to have a moment on solid land. My stomach was still unsettled and the entire winding drive home I had to hang my head out of the window to cure my nausea.

And to think I grew up on rollercoasters . . . .

Wellington is Wonderful

Attending my first Wellington Phoenix 'football' game. We sat in the acclaimed Yellow Fever Fan section where I learned classic football chants like "Oh Wellington is Wonderful" and "The Ref is an Aussie."

Also when a seagull flies over the stadium and the score is 0-0, you chant 'SEEEEEEEAGUUUUUUUULLLLLLLLLLL' to let the players know that you are bored and they better pick up the pace. Unfortunately, Wellington lost, but we still think they are wonderful.

Antarctic Centre - Canterbury

Eventually I became more courageous about my driving abilities in NZ and set off to find the Antarctic Centre on my own. The Centre is the world's aerial gateway to the Antarctic where scientist undergo training and supplies to endure living on the ice capped continent.

I rode in an hagglund, a Swedish all terrain vehicle. It is the official vehicle of Antarctica with the ability to cross 3 meter cracks in the ice, climb 45 degree inclines, and to become a boat! Not the smoothest ride, but it will get you where ever in the world you need to go.

Inside the center, I saw the feeding of cute blue penguins. My favorite was Elvis, though through DNA testing it was determined Elvis was a girl. But a couple of them did have blue shoes. Apparently some of the penguins were getting sore feet from the rocks.














I also survived an 'authentic' antarctic storm. Really . . . .George (the elderly volunteer) locked me in an room, dropped the temperature to negative 20 degrees Celsius , and turned on some high powered fans for 5 minutes. It was COLD. And to humor my new friend, I went down the ice slide and threw snow balls at him. He was lucky there was glass between us.

Kiwi Slang - Sweet as . . .

Sweet as what?? As chocolate? lollipop? ice cream?

It is humorous the use of 'sweet as' in any situation. I refuse to use it. My excuse is my lack of grammatical and cultural understanding to use 'sweet as' appropriately. If I were told your mother died and I said 'sweet as' is that correct? I received a resounding NO!

Below is a funny 'pisstake' animation about kiwi slang and accents. Click on the image to watch the clip.

Tailing the Baa Baas

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South Island Road Trip

Mel met me at the Christchurch Airport from my flight arriving from Auckland. We threw my gear in the boot of the car and began our 5 day road trip of the South Island. Christchurch -> Dunedin -> Becks -> Queenstown -> Wanaka -> Christchurch. Oh yeah and a side trip to see the highest point in New Zealand. Mount Cook.

mount cook in the background